Duwamish River Monster

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I witnessed a large, menacing 8-10 ft kelp monster strutting about on the banks of the Duwamish River, on the beach at 8th Avenue South Park. I think it was the Lufu…

It came out of the water, sludging toward me at a slow pace and mumbling something about “darn pollution”. It had deep red glowing eyes full of revenge and was covered in a horrible swath of litter, mud, and fishing nets.

Thankfully, I was well-equipped with a camera, as I’ve heard rumors that the Lufu (“loofoo”) had returned to the area and I thought I could document it. After I took the picture, the creature immediately disappeared, its slimy kelp tendrils untangling and slurping back into the muddy banks of the Duwamish.

Duwamish River Monster!

I am using a pseudonym to concea my identity to avoid public embarrassment as I am a notable business figure in the area. I feel it is my duty to shed light on how the impact of urban development in the south Seattle area has culminated in the creation of this terrifying elemental being!!

I know what I saw!!

#lufuisreal

Submuitted by “Paul Differentman”